I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
