I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
