She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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