I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Buhtt sex?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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