So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
