She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
