Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Damn victory sex feels great
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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