Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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