What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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