I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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