I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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