Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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