I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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