Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
