It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
