Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
