look no pants
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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