so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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