I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My feet surprised me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
