his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
