Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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