I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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