New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My bed smells like the plague
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
