My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
