he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
