I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize