I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
