But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
