Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
