So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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