haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize