The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My feet surprised me
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