Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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