I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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