Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
