please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
