from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
