my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
