I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
