dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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