God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
