Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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