She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I came so hard my ears popped.
where are my eyebrows?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
