I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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