so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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