So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize