I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
