look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
