You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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