everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
