I am full of burrito and curiosity
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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