some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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