you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
