he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
