We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
