one might say we're banned from that church
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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