I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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