I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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