I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
