Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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