I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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