Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Life is so much better after having sex.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize