she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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