Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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