You can't special order awesome
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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